Hold Em.

When I was in college, I started playing Texas Hold Em' a little bit. I usually won the few times I played, or at least came in second. Sometimes I play here in my hometown and do pretty well.

I'm not outwardly great at it, and I don't really strategize. However, the most simple pieces of advice I can give to any starting player is this:

1. Don't fold on the flop if you posted blind.
2. You won't ever win without a few risks, and pushing the other players

So, let me expand on my previous post about risks, and the super cliche metaphor of going "all-in".

I think sometimes with girls (although, this theory has very rarely proved successful to me), you have to go all in. Even though you only see if what's in your hand (your pocket cards), and what everyone else can see, you have to go all in. You don't know what's in her hand. You don't know how her hand interacts with your hand, and everyone else's hand. But it's that chance that matters. Without the chance, you'll never beat her.

You have to push and push and push. Sometimes, she calls your bluff and you're bleeding chips. You're bleeding, and out of game if you can't come back with a bang.

Sometimes, if you expect to get anywhere, you continue to push and push and push until she folds, right into your arms.

Rain

My favorite book is The Art of Racing in the Rain. Everyone should read it.

My favorite passage from the book is when the narrator, a dog named Enzo, is talking about how his owner, Denny, is the best professional race car driver of his generation because of his ability to drive on the track in rain. Enzo speaks of how Denny drives through the rain without changing to rain tires, as everyone else on the track does.

Denny says that the trick is to drive like there are eggshells on the pedals that you don't want to crack. He says that in the rain, your car can act unpredictable. So instead of running into a sudden change in the status quo, he compensates, and spins his car, so he can control the spin, before the rain does it for him.

Your car goes where your eyes go, that which you manifest is before you.

The quote goes,

"That which we manifest is before us; we are the creators of our own destiny. Be it through intention or ignorance, our successes and our failures have been brought on by none other than ourselves"

Allow me to use this as an analogy not only for cars and life, but rather for our relationships with each other.

I've began to notice, ever since high school when I began actually dating girls, that I walk into the relationship with one of two different perspectives, depending on the girl.

The first is one of extreme and utter confidence. I know what I'm going to say, when I'm going to say it, and I do so with a sense of cockiness, assuming the knowledge of how she will react.

Not to put down the rewards of having confidence, but I've seemed to notice that the relationships I go into with an extreme sense of self-consciousness are always the keepers.

The girls that tie the tongue are the keepers. The girls that build up roadblocks when we are already blindfolded, and missing an arm and a leg. The girls that make us work for it. I'm not suggesting that girls should outwardly play hard to get, but I'm rather suggesting that the girls that naturally make us stumble and fall are the ones that are worth us getting back up again.

Going back to The Art of Racing in the Rain, Denny races through the rain, carefully and with precision. He doesn't assume. And let me propose that we should walk into these relationships in a similar fashion:

Understand the risks, and take them. Understand that the girls that are easy to figure out, aren't the ones worth standing back up for.

Denny only has confidence in one absolute: the finish line is always behind the obstacles.

We should assume the same thing.

The rain provides an unexpected shroud on the obstacles. But the finish line is on the other side of the rain.

So, charge on.

Comfort Zones

"I don't want him to change for me."
"I don't want to change for her."
"I want them to like me for me."

All of these are very silly concepts. I can't imagine that a successful relationship being one in which both don't undergo some sort of change.

Compatibility can only be so concrete, theres always a time to split hairs on certain things. And that is why I've decided one of the most important factors to successful love is adaptation, and leaving your comfort zone.

I can't even being to relate to you how many times in past relationships I was uncomfortably (although, willingly) encouraged into awkward and uncomfortable situations.

Dancing? I hate dancing. But I danced.
Ballet? I hate ballet. But I watched.

Some could say it would purely be to avoid fighting, but why do we avoid fighting? If fighting is such a problem, then end things already. However, perhaps making the other person happy is just masquerading as "avoiding fighting".

Adaptation will always be necessary to accommodate healthy love. Odds of finding someone perfect in every area of their life, or a perfect fit to you isn't only slim to none, but it's probably impossible.

So my challenge?

Watch terrible movies. Listen to grating music, and eat disgusting food. Dance a gaudy dance, and spend your money on things that don't really matter.

Why?

Because everything else matters.