I had a friendly argument with Adam Westmoreland a few days ago. There was no real winner, but I left the conversation with an epiphany.
If you want to see how a guy truly feels, don't look at how he treats a girl on average. It looks the same if he truly cares about her, or if he just wants to sleep with her.
Think about it.
You see a girl at a Coffee Shop open mic night, or at a bar, or at a bookstore. You think she's cute. You plan your words carefully before you approach her. You start with introductory conversation, before you wiggle your way past small talk and into a real conversation. You leave that night with her number. You call her the next day, or 96 hours later (as Barney Stinson's 'Bro-Code' calls for) and ask to take her to dinner. That Friday, you go to dinner with her. You take her to that hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant, and you order dinner for the two of you in authentic Italian language, you had to look up the translation earlier that day, you practiced in the shower and in front of the mirror how to say 'fettuccine' in Italian. She's impressed. You get tiramisu and a cup of coffee for dessert before you drive her home. You passed with flying colors that night, and she invites you up to her apartment. Her roommate is gone. Things happen, the night fades to black like a PG-13 movie. You wake up in the morning and quietly sneak out.
The story can go two ways from here on out.
1) You leave, and ditch the phone number. You don't call her again.
2) You come back with coffee, and breakfast.
2) You come back with coffee, and breakfast.
How things end up depend completely on what you want. Everything depends fully on what's in your mind as you enter the night. You know how you want the night to end.
How do you tell then, girls? How do you sort out the jerks from the hopeless romantics?
Well, you can't really. A lot of times you just have to be careful.
How can you be sure about how he feels though? How can you be sure if its genuine? Well, however far down the road you'll encounter that one epic situation. It will either be adventurous, or dangerous. If he's the guy that brings you Starbucks and breakfast, he'll embrace adventure, and follow you across the country, and across the world. If he's the guy that brings you Starbucks and breakfast, he'll push you behind him as the convenience store gets robbed. If he's the one that sneaks out in the morning...well, he won't do those things. And eventually, you'll find out everything.
