Superman Doesn't Have Anything On Us.

When I first interviewed for my counseling position at Forest Home, there was a question asked by my boss, Cyndie. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Some said flying, some said super strength, speed, invisibility, or one of my favorites: teleportation. Teleportation would probably be my second choice, while my first choice is by far the greatest superpower (and a real one at that) given to mankind. Love.

If I could have the power to love, I would be set.

Super strength sounds great, I could lift cars, and impress ladies with my big muscles. I could sneak around and be a part of great Ocean's 11 style heists, if I had the superpower of invisibility.

But if I could love, I would be set.

Let's just take a moment to survey the power that love has. Closely rivaled only by fear, Love is the greatest, and most driving emotion in human history. It has driven some of the greatest historical movements of all time, and it should be the driving force behind more of them today.

In terms of romantic love, it has the power to turn cynics into poets. Love has the power to make the impossible the constant, and the constant spontaneous. It has the ability to soften the hearts of the coldest rulers, and make conquistadors sacrifice cities of gold.

And oh, when she has this power, she has this power over you. The bible tells us that the man will lord over his wife, and she will submit to him. But in my past experience, when she has this power, you can't help but to submit. She turns your world upside down, in the most pleasant way possible. You can't help but to send flowers, buy chocolate, make dinner, and do the dishes. You can't help but to let her sleep in, so you can come back with coffee and breakfast in bed. Some might call it manipulation, or a curse. I call it a superpower. The greatest gift given to mankind.

How can you prove the existence of such a superpower? It's clear with super strength, or teleportation, or flying. You just do it, and show people. Extremely easy to prove. However, with Love, how do you separate it from just attraction, or infatuation? How do you tell if you love someone, or love the idea of them?

Well, let me submit to you that you're the only one that can know for sure if this superpower exists in you. It's not something you can outwardly do to make it clear to others. Even though it can inspire great deeds of extravagance, those could very easily be misconstrued as something else entirely.

There's only two people in the world you need to prove it to. Yourself, and the most beautiful girl in the world. And as soon as you're sure of it, go to every length in the world, in the universe to prove it to her. And I know you can, Superman doesn't have anything on you.

Logic vs. Stamina

My roommate Kyle said something I laughed at, because it's so true. Republicans think with logic, Democrats think with emotion. I'm not meaning to offend anyone, this isn't a political blog, but his statement got me thinking. Do we think with logic, when we should actually be acting based solely on emotion? I say yes.

People think far too much, and it gets in the way of happiness. People should follow the example of romantic comedies much more often than they do. The normal reaction after watching a romantic comedy, or /chick-flick/ would be to say "Too bad it doesn't actually work like that." Well, chances are that person has never driven a actually flown cross country to pursue someone. They probably haven't haven't switched around the biggest plans of their life for a chance to be with someone. They probably haven't driven ththrough several states to prove themselves.

Why would you? That would far too illogical.

When it comes to romance, logic is quite possibly the most boring concept ever (except maybe a Turner Classic Movies Valentines Day Movie Marathon..eesh). You might be satisfied because it's easy, but I'll venture a guess that she isn't. Maybe the way it worked in the movies would work just as well for you, if you put as much effort as Tom Hanks does, or Cary Grant does.

Logic tells you to get her flowers once, maybe twice a month, while effort tells you to buy a flower shop. Logic tells you to take her out to dinner on every other Friday night, effort tells you to drive 100 miles to bring back her favorite takeout. Logic tells you to call from your house to hers, effort tells you to call from the sidewalk by her house.

These moments of romance, and the desire to put in the extra effort seem to occur without logic. The longer you wait to do them, the more and more logic settles in, and the moment is wasted. Logic settles in, and you settle for logic.

No wonder things don't end up the way you want.

All For Granted

Everyone makes mistakes in life. Most are fairly fixable. Whether it's a math problem you make a mistake on, or a harmless mistake on the job. However some mistakes cost people their lives, literally and metaphorically. Heres one mistake I'm going to ask everyone not to make.

And that mistake is taking love for granted.

I'm not talking about loving your neighbor, or loving each other as people. I'm talking about romantic love. I'm not talking about middle school or high school love, which is actually just a thinly veiled carnal urge. I'm talking about legitimate "I-would-be-put-in-a-real-life-situation-of-the-movie-'Saw'-so-you-wouldn't-have-to-love" or the "I'm-willing-to-quit-my-job-and-live-on-a-deserted-island-for-the-rest-of-forever-with-you-love."

An online dictionary. www.usingenglish.com defined "Take for Granted" perfectly, "If you take something for granted, you don't worry or think about it because you assume you will always have it. If you take someone for granted, you don't show your appreciation to them."

A friend of mine once argued that all emotions are chemical, and love is only a physiological response to other interactions and experiences. Even in the most literal sense, I find this cannot be true. Love is nothing short of a God-given gift. It doesn't matter if you're religious or not, no one can argue that love is not just a math problem, but a miracle of nature.

If you're in one of these aforementioned relationships, let me ask you, let me beg you - don't take it for granted. Realize that this ability and this relationship, this bond that you have with this person is a gift, and should absolutely be treasured. Don't ever assume it will always be there, don't ever forget to appreciate it. Indulge it with everything you are.

Stay until she falls asleep, because she wants you there. Do everything you hate just to see a smile on her face. Choose her over other fun and friendly activities, because she's your best friend. Be the last one to text her before she falls asleep, and set your alarm for a few minutes before hers, so you can be the first to text her when she wakes up. Bring her coffee in a snowstorm, and take her shopping in a rainstorm. Don't ever miss an opportunity to tell her how much you love her.

What if you don't do these things? What if you take this miraculously given love for granted?
What if you don't appreciate every last part of it?

I'll let you draw your own conclusion of what could happen from here.

Creepiness, or a Shot in the Dark?

This is a choice you have to make, ladies. You need to call a conference and gather together in one place. Or elect leaders from the community to represent girls everywhere. There is a decision that needs to be made. Because you have the guys a little confused. If we aren't a little creepy, we have to take a shot in the dark. Which do you prefer?

Do you prefer us to do a little bit of background work?

Or just guess what you like?

We have to woo you somehow, and it's only fair that you let us be a little prepared.

Sometimes, everything works out picture perfect. The attraction is immediate, the progress is slow, the results are eventual, but amazing.

But sometimes, for a lot of us hopeless romantics, we set the bar a little high. We fall for what we believe to be the perfect girl. Is she? We'll let the future decide.

Dear Perfect Girl,

I'm sorry I asked your friend about you. I only did it to find out a little bit about you. I did it to find out what you were like. I asked to find out what restaurant I should make reservations at. I asked to find out if you're the kind of girl that liked tulips, roses, daisies, or no flowers when I pick you up.

I'm sorry I checked your Facebook so many times, I wanted to make sure that you weren't "in a relationship", because I wanted to spare you and myself the potential embarrassment I've suffered oh so many times.

I'm sorry that I was looking at you every time you looked up, but it's hard to resist looking at you all time, I want to be sure before I make this incredible leap.

From,

Every guy who swings for the fence.

Girls: Please make up your mind. Is this ok?

Disclaimer: Saph, I do actually regret that Sunshine Note. HaHa. 

It's All What You Want

I had a friendly argument with Adam Westmoreland a few days ago. There was no real winner, but I left the conversation with an epiphany.

If you want to see how a guy truly feels, don't look at how he treats a girl on average. It looks the same if he truly cares about her, or if he just wants to sleep with her.

Think about it.

You see a girl at a Coffee Shop open mic night, or at a bar, or at a bookstore. You think she's cute. You plan your words carefully before you approach her. You start with introductory conversation, before you wiggle your way past small talk and into a real conversation. You leave that night with her number. You call her the next day, or 96 hours later (as Barney Stinson's 'Bro-Code' calls for) and ask to take her to dinner. That Friday, you go to dinner with her. You take her to that hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant, and you order dinner for the two of you in authentic Italian language, you had to look up the translation earlier that day, you practiced in the shower and in front of the mirror how to say 'fettuccine' in Italian. She's impressed. You get tiramisu and a cup of coffee for dessert before you drive her home. You passed with flying colors that night, and she invites you up to her apartment. Her roommate is gone. Things happen, the night fades to black like a PG-13 movie. You wake up in the morning and quietly sneak out.

The story can go two ways from here on out.

1) You leave, and ditch the phone number. You don't call her again.
2) You come back with coffee, and breakfast.

How things end up depend completely on what you want. Everything depends fully on what's in your mind as you enter the night. You know how you want the night to end.

How do you tell then, girls? How do you sort out the jerks from the hopeless romantics?

Well, you can't really. A lot of times you just have to be careful.

How can you be sure about how he feels though? How can you be sure if its genuine? Well, however far down the road you'll encounter that one epic situation. It will either be adventurous, or dangerous. If he's the guy that brings you Starbucks and breakfast,  he'll embrace adventure, and follow you across the country, and across the world.  If he's the guy that brings you Starbucks and breakfast, he'll push you behind him as the convenience store gets robbed. If he's the one that sneaks out in the morning...well, he won't do those things. And eventually, you'll find out everything.